Thursday, January 2, 2014

Sudden Loss

This summer I spent a week at Squaw Valley in Tahoe at a writers retreat. My roommate was another female poet and she told me all about her sweet little family in Memphis, about her little 18-month son, Rainer. We've kept in touch loosely over Facebook and I was shocked to see an announcement on Sunday that Rainer had passed away in his sleep of unknown causes, just a few days past his second birthday. I feel so heartbroken for this woman and her family. I barely know her, but I know what a dedicated and invested mother she is. It all feels so unfair and it is such an unimaginable grief. I have to keep myself from imagining the moment that they found him . . . how language fails us in these moments. Loss is often too much for words. We haven't ever quite come up with the right containers for grief; it is still an unutterable experience. 

I know there's nothing I can do or say. It's not even my grief or my family, but maybe in a way it is. Shouldn't we all be touched when something this awful happens? It feels like the world ought to stop, at least for a moment, since there are no words, the world just ought to stand still for that little soul leaving it. I just wish it would. I really do. At least we could be silent for him when we don't have the words. 

No comments:

Post a Comment